So I’ve really needed to take the time to sit down, and just write. To just let my thoughts run free, and a way to gain some additional perspective. I hope that I can get into the habbit of writing an entry everyday, or week even into some sort of journal. Why not start here, no? Its become strangely apparent to me over the last year or so that I am losing my memory, both short, and long term. I feel daily that I’m losing my grip on the memories and thoughts that are so dear to me. I do however have a few theorys as to why this is happening to me (probably all those years of being a pot-head). Certainly I’m beginning to age now being 27. I know… that still sounds so young, and it is, agreed. But there is a moment when we leave the invincibility of our child-hood, and begin the “degenerative” process into the rest of our lives. My father certainly remembers being close to my age, and noticing small intrinsic physical, and psychological affects. How the body begins to find more aches, and pains. Certain positions we use to sit, or sleep in, no longer work for our bodies. Taking certain dives, or spills leave longer lasting bruises and scars. Granted, there are ways to help stifle these issues, to keep them at bay, but impossible none the less to control over time. I hate to start thinking about how I’m already beginning to “Age”, but it has to happen at some point, and for the better. Theres nothing worse than not being able to age gracefully. Looking around everyday, I see more and more trying to run from their fate as the future gains on us. Face lift here, tummy tuck there. Age-defining injections and coloring of the gray hairs. What about those who are 45 and still wearing clothes of a 20 year old? Am I the only one that finds apathy, and sympathy for these people? How horrible to be stuck in an ever-existing loop, where mind never changes, but the body does. To wake up one day and see an old man in the mirror, while still having the mind-set of teenager. To know that the opportunity of gaining wisdom and knowledge was rightly denied in the pursuit of ‘living for the moment’.   And while that scares me, it also scares me to consider that I’m leaving a time in my life behind that held so many memories, and so much importance to me. I’m fearful of letting myself move forward b/c I feel like I didn’t quite make the best of all the opportunities I had available to me. Time spent, relationships built (or lost for that matter), moments with my son, personal dreams and desires gone. I cant say that I have “regret” per say, but there are things I do wish I could gain back.

I feel like I’ve really changed alot in the last few years… at least at a much faster rate and pace than I have in any other stage in my life. These last 2 years or so have really been difficult ones for me. Difficult how? Well, how does one define ‘difficult’? Have I had to live in my car, go without eating a meal, lost a job, or loved one? No. And for that, I’m so VERY thankful. God has been good to me. My largest hurdles have come in the form of consciousness… in the way that I’ve begin to perceive and understand the ways of the world I live in. My desire for seperation from this ‘American’ lifestyle, this ’self-focused’, capitalistic, flesh-based, close-minded world I’ve awoken too.

“Ignorance is bliss” - unknown.

This quote is so true. I’m reminded of the movie The Matrix, and I begin to really understand Neo’s conflict of taking the red pill, or the blue pill. I’ve noticed that I’ve become more resentful, and closed off to society on a personal level. Trying my best to only interact on the most basic of levels that still allows me to have a good job, and take advantage of social advantages. But by this definition of being “social”, we must be accepted on a “social” level. Otherwise, we become recluse, distant, and “weird” to the rest of society. For the longest time this was a stigma that held alot of weight in the way I interacted with people. I’m thankful that God has been the pillar of encouragement. And all though I have so much more growth, and development in my walk with with God, I’m starting to understand that society by ‘law’ is designed to self-destruct. 2 words… Mans law. I understand now, its flawed. My dilemma is learning how to deal with it; how to ‘play the game, but not be played by the game’ so to speak. In my mind… its impossible. And if not impossible, LARGELY risky. I guess what I’m really trying to say is this… I’m getting older, and wiser, and understanding things in a way I didnt quite understand them before, and as a result I’m also learning to cope with those things. I hope that my forgetfulness, and lack of “spunk” will come back as my attitude and disposition will also change. I guess we’ll see

Let us progress with it. Stop this generation of plauged out “corporate” and soul-sold “artists”, and let music evolve as it should.

When it was still so new and fresh in its infancy that the evil driving force of “advertising” had not corrupted it? There were no ads, no fucking commercials… you performed a search, and there it was. It was the only major outlet of information I’ve ever seen at one point, without any ads.

Advertising is the work-horse of greedy, power-striken, money-hungry demons. And I’m not describing the advertising that is required for artistic events, so that people will know when a movie showtime is, or when a concert date and time will be. I’m describing the incestuous, mind-washing advertising of Pharmaceuticals, glamour products, advertising for political agendas, and “to large” corporatocracy’s showcasing familial values to “bond” with their customer, all the while paying ($200 million - think of how much good this money could do!) for their add to show up on TV somewhere every 60 seconds. ( BTW this IS  textbook definition of “brainwashing”!!).

We are a disgusting life force; while all at the same time having limitless potential for being able to benefit one another. The world has changed immensely in my 25 years on this Earth. Or maybe, that Red Pill is just now finally kicking in? Why do we choose to not live up to our full potential as one thriving life-force with the world around us?  To question the powers in control, to question human authority… these are our God given rights, no human is above another. I just wish we “flexed” it a bit more… things are starting to run-a-muck.

download

So many have wondered for some time, as to why there are 2 different names for the same song? Well… quick easy answer is, that the song began as a remix for our friend Evan (The Emissary) many many moons ago, and for whatever reason, it was never released (which a for-warning to anyone interested in ever releasing our material; dont try telling us who and who we can not share our music that WE slaved over with.)

Regardless, it is now getting a second chance as a remix at Digital Sensation UK, as they have picked it up along with a few of The Emissary’s original songs for re-release. So there you have it… you had your chance to have it for free for the last 3 years, and now, you have to pay exorbitant, and very large sums of money to have it. Sorry. MWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA (evil laugh) Although I have a feeling Slsk still has a few 100 of these floating around its servers, we shall see how this turns out.

All joking aside, i will certainly be giving this back to our community here at Seedful Music for another go in the future. So have no worrys… if your to cheap to buy it now, just wait to steal it again. Thanks for all the support 2010 is going to be an interesting ride. BEST

Find Future Perfect on SoundCloud!

www.soundlcloud.com/seedfulmusic

I have been searching for something;  Something more than human, more than the things I have, or the things I see in front of me. I’ve been in search of something that has no physical substance, no liquidity. You cant touch it, and you cant smell it, taste it, or even see it. You can however “feel” it; feel its presence hovering about you, around you, and through you. The relative theory behind this is that we are all living beings full of radiant electrical energy. Much like modern day circuit boards, we carry a signal from one place to another, knowing that that’s the way it has to be in order for the “process” to perform properly. I recently sat down with my son to watch the movie “Wall-E”. In this movie there is a part where Wall-E follows his new friend EVE back to the mothership after returning from Earth. Once EVE has arrived, she (it?) undergoes a thorough process and analysis by the other robots. One robots job in particular is to clean all the foreign contaminant off of the robot returning from Earth (EVE).  Once the process and cleaning is over, the cleaning robot begins to return back to its quarters, when suddenly it realizes that there is some dirt on the ground. Now mind you, this robot is programmed to stay inside of these guidelines that control the flow of traffic for the robots; only one way there, and only one way back. The dirt on the ground is outside of that line of traffic, and the robot realizes this. He has now come to a dilemma that he has never had to encounter before. On one hand he is bound by the guidelines and programming established inside of his circuits that say “stay within the lines of traffic, and never go outside of it”. However on the other hand, that same programming and purpose designate him to clean, and decontaminate any substance that could be harmful.

What do you do? Do you stay within the guidelines and confinements of your programming, or do you dare question, and venture outside of those confinements in hope that your “purpose” is more important than the regulations built into you? What an extraordinary display of what it means to have a “choice” as a human! So what does the little robot do? He jumps off the track, closes his eyes, and hopes that when he lands, nothing terrible has happened to him. Within a split second, he has changed his own programming (programming = our thoughts and perceptions), and has begun to carry out something new. Everything of the old, is no longer relevant… everything he knew prior to that, is non-existent. His life changed in a matter of a quick moment; imagine the new world he will be able to explore now that he’s no longer bound by those confinements of his own programming.

Sometimes I ask myself about my own programming; about what I’ve been taught. I’ve been witness to see others so hardened by their own programming, that when truth came to slap them upside the head, their programming said “error” in big bold, red letters across their forehead. As a result, nothing was learned or gained from said scenario, and things continued on as normal. We all live on the same planet, and yet we are light years away from one another. Its extraterrestrial to think about, but is it really so far fetched? To think, that we all live and interact in one common place (Earth), but live and perceive things from a totally different planet (our minds).  I try everyday to embrace the perceptions of others, and although it can be difficult at times (sometimes VERY difficult), its never impossible.

I’m in search of something…. something more.  Im in search of more than understanding my own perception, or my neighbor’s perception. I want to find that “collective” conscience, so that I can be more understanding, more patient, and more accepting of others and who they are. I have a feeling that this is something the oldest, and wisest of men on Earth today still try to grasp the concept of. Will we ever truly be able to do it? See ya on the next go’round. 

Future Perfect - Illuminate

ABove is a direct link to download it from this site. It is roughly 130mb’s so if your are not interested in letting it load for 4 hours on your dial up connection like us, you can view it here on YouTube. Follow the link below. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F84Jh6sUxe0

- Chris